How you do anything is how you everything.
Chew on that for a while!
Quite often we have these lists of things-to-do, and measure ourselves by our achievements but what about the moments in-between?
In 2006 when I sat the Vipassana I met my dear friend Chris. He was the first person to introduce me to how to directly translate this practice into my own person life. So that I am not going to retreats for 10 days and sitting in silence - giving my nervous system some well deserved respite -and then going back into my everyday life and hammering the shit out of myself while harping on about the fact that I sit the Vipassana once a year for ten days.
He told me about how he used the breathing technique of Anapana (you should sit the course if you haven’t already it is more complicated than just breathing in and out of your nose) but breathing in and out of his nose when he was working as a sound producer in San Dieago on huge concerts where the pressure was big and time and money was huge.
He said that he focused on it when he was driving between places or moving things – in between spaces. He used the practice to calm himself down so that he could be more present and less stressed while on the job. I told him I dose myself up with Rescue Remedy. He laughed at me.
He also told me that a good way to get over some spectacular agitation with someone, in a personal or professional capacity, was to send that person Metta (again you need to check out the course but how I’ve interpreted it is to send the person positive supportive feelings rather than grief and agitation and secretly wanting to trip them when they walk past).
He shared with me that you visualise the colleague and send them love and warm feelings and tell them it's all okay. I have learned since that that means humility – to be humble and realise that everyone is doing the best that they can. Chris was much more mature than me in 2007.
Taking the practice and practically applying it to your life, to the in-between parts, reminded me of a saying I heard "How you spend your day is how you spend your life". That blew my mind when I first heard it. Some parts of my day were great: I spend my life drinking really yummy coffee. Other parts less great: I spend my life dealing with the consequence of drinking too much yummy coffee.
With that in mind Chris hypothetically held up a mirror to me, in that blatant-stand-naked-in-front-of-the-mirror-to-see-your-true-form kind of a way. And, I saw that I was spinning around cities in my car between things, on coffee highs and increasingly not breathing but rather holding my breath longer and longer as the various pressures mounted.
Eventually I started to breathe between things and there was an unexpected experience. I found that I actually found things funny and didn’t find things that serious despite acting as though I did. I realized I really don’t care that much about very very important things. But rather I care about walking my dog, taking my time and breathing.
A spiritual teacher of mine gave me a book for my birthday and in it was a character who swept. He realised that no matter how much he swept he always need to sweep. He came the realisation that that made him useful and also that he didn’t need to rush his sweeping. That he could sweep carefully, thoughtfully and with full attention to his action.
I am one of the people that get ahead of themselves and I rush around all self important and judgmental totally missing out on some of the breathtaking beauty of the mundane, such as, the orange flowers that have sprung up out of the aloes right now on the corner. And the humor in the absurd like speaking to five different insurance consultants when trying to resolve one issue. It really is funny – no? Deep breath in and out of your nose!
https://www.instagram.com/moniquepelserstudio/
Drawing is by it's very nature process orientated. You start with a mark which becomes a line and develops into an image. Making drawings you are therefore processing. Hi my name is Monique Pelser I am a South African artist, producer, researcher, educator, creative recovery coach and Chi Gong practitioner.
I teach drawing as a skill as well as a wellness practice to children as well as adults. https://www.facebook.com/doodlesdailydrawings/
On this channel I share the experiences and insights I have gained in my life and research process.
The methods I use are breathing, drawing and writing and are used to support self-awareness, mindfulness, self-development as well as creative problem solving. I am the co-founder of The Art Of Wellbeing, an organisation working with multi-disciplinary researchers focusing on well-being practices for individuals as well as the corporation.
© Monique Pelser 2022
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